Waiting

Today starts one of the most mentally painful weeks of waiting I think I’ve ever experienced, and I’m realizing I’m nowhere near as patient as I once believed.

I’m at 39 weeks and currently sitting in that window of time when Lil’ Babe can make her appearance any day now {Her official due date is October 11.} Awhile back, I was dead convinced that she was going to arrive early, and likely by the end of September, so I’m surprised to find myself here, playing the waiting game. She has been measuring quite big since June; at 37 weeks she was measuring closer to 40-41 weeks. Because of that, I was hoping she would pop in early just to make it easier on her mama {and her mama’s body!}!

Leave it to Will and me to cook up a gigantic kid in a state where babies trend smaller due to lack of oxygen. Future mountain climber perhaps?

Regardless, early has not happened and I find myself wondering if every single day is The Day. Is today the day we will get to meet our daughter? Is today the day where something in my belly just won’t feel quite right? I find myself looking for signs in everything.

My carpal tunnel is excruciating this week; does that mean she is coming?

I lost some weight last week; is labor near?

I slept horribly last night and had terrible insomnia; is that Baby Girl’s way of announcing her arrival?

PC: Will Rochfort

Every night I go to bed, wondering if something will awaken me in the early morning hours. And when I awake without anything happening, I always roll over and say the same thing to Will: “Nothing happened.” But alas, I know something will happen and soon; I just need to be patient!

Today is also noteworthy since it is my first day of maternity leave. After 15 years of working with my family’s business, I left on Friday knowing I won’t be back for the rest of the season. In reality, I don’t know whether I’ll be back at all and if I am, in what capacity it will be. I know I won’t return next spring in the same context that I’ve enjoyed for the past decade.

It’s a weird feeling, doing something differently than you’ve always done.

We have some plans in the works in that context, but I’m not quite ready to throw them out there for the world. I promise, I’ll share at some point but until then….more waiting.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

I’m also in a holding pattern for most of my writing projects. I really didn’t want to get stuck in the middle of a deadline while I head into labor, so I wrapped up the majority of my work at the end of September. I avoided picking up new assignments in order to make the transition to motherhood easier this month. Of course, now that it’s October and I’m at home, I’m staring at a blank calendar, void of any major looming deadlines.

Y’all, I haven’t had a blank calendar for at least five years!

I do know that I have an exciting project coming to fruition that I can’t wait to share with you guys. Like, I’m beyond pumped. But, as with most things, I’m reticent to say a peep until I have the contract in hand. The world revolves around contracts, you know? And until I have a legally binding document that confirms it will move forward, I’m going to stay quiet.

Because, you know. More waiting.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

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7 Comments

  • Reply Art October 2, 2017 at 9:52 am

    Kids do take their time, don’t they? My wife was induced at 42 weeks, and I can recall each day passing and the increasing sense that it might not ever happen. Well, our little Noah (who was also a big boy during the pregnancy) just turned 1 a month ago, so I can tell you that the waiting just means that your little girl likes being fashionably late.

  • Reply Carol & Carmella October 2, 2017 at 11:00 am

    The last few moments are the worst! But hold on! Your first week with the new baby will unforgettable – both in a good and a not so pleasant way. Prepare for absolutely no sleep if you are breastfeeding and trying to sh-sh-sh a fussy baby who won’t go back to sleep. Try everything and anything! Twice! Good luck and our thoughts are with you!

  • Reply Carol & Carmella October 2, 2017 at 11:03 am

    And to get your little one ready for hiking and meet some new moms and get more advice on parenthood consider joining Hike It Baby.com. I know you will absolutely miss the trails but it’s always good to mix up your routine with hiking with the little one when they can walk / explore nature (and in our case + dog!) and hiking with a baby carrier on longer hikes.

  • Reply Neja October 2, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    A blank calendar means it’s finally time for sudoku, movies and easy walks! Woohooo! What’s not to like about the mountains waiting part?! 😀 Enjoy your maternity leave and enjoy time with your little baby girl, who I’m sure will follow your steps and become a great mountain climber herself. As I always say to my kids “you don’t have a real choice, mama and papa love the mountains and so will you”. Poor kiddos 😂

  • Reply Barb October 2, 2017 at 7:39 pm

    Oh wow any day now!
    Here’s to a quick ‘n easy delivery.
    You’re going to love being a mom 🙂 I’m a grandma now and that’s a blast, too!

  • Reply Chris Pund October 3, 2017 at 8:36 am

    Good luck and congratulations! My daughter was born at the Avista hospital in Louisville and was known as the “big baby” on the floor. She weighed 9 pounds 13 ounces and all the nurses were shocked. That’s when we found out Colorado babies tend to be much smaller…who knew!

  • Reply Pamela October 4, 2017 at 7:56 pm

    Well, you already know that sleep can be a tough thing to get in the first few weeks after your baby comes. I can give you a piece of advice. The best way to get my kids to sleep when they were little was putting them in a front back, or back pack when they were a little bigger and walking them to sleep. Helps get you back in shape after giveng birth as well. Enjoy this special time in your life!!!!

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